for you

i had planned, all day, to share my handy, crafty, loving, joyful side. lighten the mood with my love of snow and stylized eskimo whimsy. maybe a few quips about how my daughter danced the dance of the sugar-plum fairy around the living room to really ugly jazz this afternoon for just me. i wanted this post to be light and full of life and possibility, but alas, my heart has hit the shit fan and i'm struggling to recall the moments of greatness from today and the possibility of tomorrow. my husband and i cannot speak for fear our words will shatter, what we palpate to be, the delicate balance in these moments of waiting. waiting to see. waiting to hear. waiting to know.

my moments of peace are watching the 2nd dance of the sugar-plum fairy (with costume change) over and over and over and over. this is our gift of peace and joy for our dear friend.